Getting Nekkid for Wellness

Warning: The following information may contain adult content toward the end. 

Psst… 

Step into my slippers for a moment, because I’m about to get personal and I don’t want you to get mad at me.  Expressing exuberance for bath-taking is… weird.  I know that you know how to take a bath, and I know what I would do, if someone told me how to take a bath - but stick around!  I brought goodies!

Forget the Spa

To quote Lisa Tant of Chatelaine, “Blends of aromatherapy oils or minerals turn your soak into a therapeutic treatment. Lie back on a bath pillow or rolled towel, breathe deeply and feel your old stress float away” (1998).

I operate on a formidable level of stress, but I make it up to myself with a legendary bath.  Thanks to my bathtub and a few special touches, I am able to afford a trip to the spa every single day.  Bathing is not just a matter of personal hygiene – it is therapy.  Hydrotherapy.

I owe my sanity to this formula.

Ingredients for the Epic Bath

• Shower Curtain, to draw closed, because it is a sad spa indeed that overlooks the toilet

• Bubbles, which make ordinary water wispy and luxurious

• Essential Oils, to transform the air into an oasis of enchanting aromas.  Titillate your senses.  Put a few drops in your bath, diffuser, or both

• Essential Oil Diffuser, tealight candle, and fire; for ambiance and to proliferate your favorite scent

• Epsom Salts, to draw out toxins from your body

• Space Heater, for when you exit your tub, to prevent the horrid disturbance of exchanging a hot bath for a shockingly frigid troposphere

• Computer, book, iPad, phone, etc., so you don’t get bored; to prolong your soak 

 *Some people would have you banish any outside entertainment from the spa-like setting, emphasizing the importance of meditation. If this works for you, more power to you.  I envy those that can subdue their brainwork.  My brain gallops at approximately one billion meters per second, so I happen to respond better to effective distraction.  Emersion and aromatherapy go a long way for me, and if I catch an episode or two or three of It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia or some other ridiculous t.v. show while I breathe in essential oils, sip on herb-infused water and soak in bubbles and Epsom salts, then I end up feeling like a million bucks by the time I’m ready to get on with my day.

• Towel, to dry your hands so that you may fiddle with your entertainment

• Stool, to serve as your bathside entertainment center (to safely place your computer and/or book)

*Some people like to put flower petals in their bath water, but this is not something that I recommend.  However, if you enjoy cleaning flower petals out of the tub shortly after pampering yourself, then by all means, go for it!

• Sweet Mint (Mentha cordifolia Opiz)

• Glass of Water, to keep you hydrated and to cool you off if you get too hot.  Plain water is fine, but a simple sprig of mint, crushed and placed in your glass makes your hydration spa-worthy.

• Your favorite body scrub, to massage your muscles and exfoliate your skin
  

This is the pumpkin spice scented sugar scrub I made with brown sugar; white sugar (the raw cane kind with big crystals); cinnamon, clove, ginger, and nutmeg essential oils; honey; and safflower oil.

A word about Safflower oil

Prevention magazine’s dermatology expert, Amy Newburger, MD, explains, “Less saturated than other oils such as corn or olive, safflower is healthy for the skin. It contains essential fatty acids that can smooth the skin and help damaged skin hold onto moisture better. And did you know that safflower oil shares many similarities with the naturally occurring lipid components of the human skin? But what I love most is that unlike other oils, it doesn't seem to cause pimples or irritate follicles” (Goldstein & Newburger, 1995).

Indeed, I have been using the sugar scrub with safflower oil on my face and lips and the results are instant.  Ever since I started using this scrub, my skin has looked undoubtedly prettier, from the time I stepped out of the bathtub and dried off.  I have moments where I look down at my hands and say, “Whoa!  My skin looks amazing!”  I can’t imagine ever springing toward another price-gouging, bath and body retail giant ever again for anything other than ideas. 

Caution: Ladies and gentlemen, if you decide to try this scrub, you must also find a big stick to carry, or men will devour you.  

Don’t take my word for it though.  According to a study “presented at the American Psychosomatic Society Meeting… blood flow to the penis was measured while men wore masks of varying scents.  Unscented masks didn’t increase flow at all, while different food scents had a range of results” (Munson, 1995).  

“Turns out that pumpkin pie combined with the scent of lavender is at the top of the list of smells that seem to induce blood flow to the penises of 31 guys tested at the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation in Chicago” (Munson, 1995). 

That’s science, folks!  I didn’t write it; it’s been proven!

 

(In Paradisum)

Another word of caution before I close

In 2012, a magazine for the ever-sore and mighty ballerinas, Pointe, published an article about the benefits of baths and Epsom salts, warning: “The one time to avoid an Epsom salt bath? Directly after injuring something. ‘When you have an acute injury like an ankle sprain, hot water will just increase inflammation,’ explains Kreha. In that instance, you're better off with ice” (Pointe, 2012).

Goldstein, L. (2002). Two Ways to Soften Skin. Prevention, 54(3), 144.

Tant, L. (1998). An oasis in your bathroom. Chatelaine, 71(1), 52.

Munson, M. T. (1995). Scent from heaven. Prevention, 47(7), 34.

The Science of Epsom Salts. (2012). Pointe, 13(5), 46.